My house-- and-- me. I have been struggling a lot this last year. Didn't know where it was coming from. The docs were worried about a major depression and were going to up my medicine. But I had some really great leaps forward this year and wanted to wait and monitor myself closely. I go to see the docs again in a couple of weeks. Trying to understand what is happening now, I had a lightbulb moment. I sat down and wrote (well I paced about and then wrote) all I could think of connected to the idea. I think I could be on to something. I think my problem now is knowing how to deal with emotional issues. I feel things really deeply. I had blocked a lot of emotional stuff while I was undiagnosed and unmedicated, so now I have to learn to handle my deep emotions without caving in. I've been so busy raising kids and stuff that I had the didn't see the forest for the trees sort of thing. So I decided to call my therapist. I haven't been in two or three years, so I hoped that I could still be in her system. Got an appointment for tomorrow. I'm excited. I hope that this will be a turning point. Just like being here has been a turning point for my financial situation. She can teach me skills that I haven't learned yet. Or at least help me better understand the process. I don't want to go back to not feeling things except anxiety. I don't want to change who I am, just better understand how to live with myself. Some of my disorders are medicated and some are managed. So far, so good. I like who I am, I just don't always understand how to live with who I am. This might be the next step. Knowledge is powerful. And helpful. It is a journey.
I saw a sign on a church on a trip: Keep going--even the snail made it to the ark.
I'm going to get up and clean house and prepare to meet this new challenge.....
Wreck of the Day
December 7th, 2006 at 05:55 pm
December 7th, 2006 at 06:19 pm 1165515589
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December 7th, 2006 at 07:29 pm 1165519762
Good luck to you - it sounds like you are getting the help you need.
December 7th, 2006 at 08:00 pm 1165521640
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December 8th, 2006 at 12:39 am 1165538390
Marianne
December 8th, 2006 at 12:40 am 1165538454
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